We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Driving Away From a Falling Rock on a Definite Collision Course

from Marathon Tuxedo Go All Jackanory on Your Arse by Marathon Tuxedo

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £0.30 GBP  or more

     

about

Written and performed by Tash Rialto

lyrics

You’ll have to excuse the noise because I’m in my car, but I’ve got myself into a bit of a situation by asking the oracle questions again. I was in my bedroom trying to find out things I shouldn’t, but I suppose it’s lucky I did because otherwise I’d have stood more chance of being crushed by a meteorite than I already do. I asked it:
“What date will I leave where I’m living?”
“May 28th of this year,” it said.
“When will I no longer be working at the shop?” I asked it.
“May 29th of this year,” it told me.
So naturally I started to get suspicious.
“So when will I die then?” I asked it.
“May 28th of this year,” it told me frankly.
I panicked.
“How do I die, then?!” I shouted.
“A three metre wide sixteen ton meteorite made of iron and nickel crushes you.”

I probed the oracle more till it told me the meteorite would strike wherever I’d be at 17:21 and 45 seconds on that day, so therefore I’d obviously take responsibility for the deaths of anyone within a one and a half metre radius of me as well, plus any property damage. That’s why I’m currently speeding around a disused airstrip just before 17:21. I reckon my best chance is to be travelling at speed because I’m more likely to be able to get out of the way. See, if it’s supposed to hit me wherever I am at that time, if I’m on foot I can’t easily get out of range when I see it coming towards me. If I’m going very fast in an open space I still won’t be able to predict where the meteorite will crash, but if the oracle is correct (which it always is, of course) then I’ll be driving into the crash site at 17:21:45. I think at this rate I’ll at least have the chance of keeping an eye on the sky through my sunroof so I can swerve to avoid it at the last minute... unless it’s an invisible meteorite... but I don’t think they exist.

Back at home

Phew, so I avoided it just about, but when I got home and told everyone what had happened, all they said was: “Why didn’t you just hide in a deep cave?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I didn’t know beforehand how hard it was going to hit. I could be in that cave and still get crushed.”
“Well why didn’t you ask the oracle the best place to hide?” they asked. “There’s no oracle at all, is there?” they said.
“Course there’s a fucking oracle,” I said. “What do you think I did? Make it up?!”

credits

from Marathon Tuxedo Go All Jackanory on Your Arse, released January 10, 2012

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Marathon Tuxedo UK

Marathon Tuxedo is Tash Rialto and Morsten Weens. Rialto does programming, vocals on the left, guitars, comb and paper, percussion. Weens does programming, vocals on the right, and percussion. Weens is also Sexual Ben sexualben.bandcamp.com and Rialto is in Von Bartha vonbartha.bandcamp.com ... more

contact / help

Contact Marathon Tuxedo

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

Marathon Tuxedo recommends:

If you like Marathon Tuxedo, you may also like: